Saturday, May 2, 2009

Time to say goodbye

The Story of You, Part 2.

Jay K.

Ep.40 Time to say goodbye

I cannot believe there are only two more months left until I leave this country. I am planning to leave China at the end of June, and stay in Korea for July and get back to the States in August. As far as this essay goes, I hope I can write ten more episodes, and finish with fifty stories in total. Though only two months are left, it seems far away to me, because I still have many tests left until I finish this semester.

I know it is a bit early to talk about my departure, but I learned from my past experience that it is always late if you start to think about it right before you leave. Nevertheless, today, I am not going to talk about me leaving, but talk about something that left me.

My electric bike broke. It broke again. I already mentioned about my electric bike many times in this essay. It was a part of my body. I guess I need to first clarify our relationship before further discussion of it.



[The birth place of my bike!]




I met him (I guess it is a guy) two weeks after I arrived in China. I desperately needed him because China was so huge and I needed someone who could take me around. Of course, it took time to get used to him. It was very hard to control him first, and I slowly learned how to handle him. I told you guys already how I met my daughter and him at the same time. I had to let my daughter (Orange Chicken the kitty) go, but he stayed with me even after she left me alone. After, I got more and more dependent on him. I couldn’t go anywhere without him. There are so many memories with him. I went to so many places with him.
I rode it to classes every morning. I rode it to get breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I rode it to meet friends, to take tests, to take pictures, and to shop. My feet were hardly on the ground because of it. I took so many people on my back, they were mostly girls, but some guys too. I think roughly 20 people rode on the back of my bike. I was really happy to take so many people on my back although it seriously caused the breakdown of my bike in the end.

I also carried various things in my bike basket. I often carried my lunch and books in there. I also had carried my daughter, flowers, and extra-large pizza.





[My bike is running!!]
It gave me freedom, democracy, and feeling of China. I really liked the feeling of wind touching my chin warmly and when I felt the wind, I slowly closed my eyes. I also liked how it always thrilled me to drive on the roads of Beijing. The bike gave me the power. I don’t know how to describe that feeling. It is a feeling that you are almighty and inconvincible. It is a feeling that you are faster than any other. It is a feeling that no one dare to stop you.

Of course, there were some rough times with it. I got the worst stress ever whenever it broke on me. I was really stressed even though I knew that it could be fixed. I also had to worry about getting it stolen whenever I parked it off-campus. These stresses and worries were all because I owned it.
I think that’s why I decided to let it go. It got broke down few weeks ago, so I did the usual drill. I took it to the magician (the repair-man) and he fixed it without any difficulty, but it broke again within a week. I felt that it was a sign, a sign that it is a time to say goodbye to him. I know if I take it to the repair man again he can fix it, but that will make it last only few more weeks.



[My bike at night]



I believe that you ought to let something go, if it needs to go. If you keep trying to hold it, that’s you being selfish. You shouldn’t be greedy. You need to know when to give up, and when to let someone go. There is an old saying, “It is never late to say sorry, and it is never early to say goodbye”. I have to say goodbye to my dear electric bike and let him rest forever. That’s how I felt seeing my bike kept breaking down.

I promised myself to bike to Tiananmen Square when the weather gets warmer, but I guess I waited too long. I am really sad that I never can bike again. I know that nothing can last forever; everything is temporary in the end. You can say that I am being too sentimental and emotional about the mere bike. But you need to know that it was a very important part of my life in China.

So, it has been more than a week since I started to live without him. I am still not used to it, and often get upset at the fact that I don’t have the bike anymore. However, breaking down of my bike also gave me the opportunity to see what is about me. I think it is a good transition since I have only two more months in China and I can see and experience more of Beijing by walking.
The bike, of course, had made my life so much easier and convenient; for example, because I could move from one place to another in a very short time, I could meet more people and could go to more places. However, because of that, I think the pace of my life had been too fast. It is time to slow down. I don’t want to meet more people and go to more places. I want to see people whom I got to know last semester more and want to have deeper relationships with them.
I need to stop talking about my broken bike now. It is time to let him go and it is time to say goodbye.

[The first night that I got my bike]