Jay K.
Ep.9 Deadly Mao and the Forbidden City
Tuesday, July 08, 2008, I am pretty busy with school works; it is really hard to find a time to write this essay, but I try to write this regularly. I really enjoy writing this essay. As I enjoy writing this, I hope you guys enjoy reading it too!
[Gongan (police) laughing]
As I promised in the last episode, I will share my experience of meeting this country’s founding father; dead Mao. Last weekend, I and my friends went to Tiananmen. I don’t know I am allowed to talk about “Tiananmen” in my blog. I assume that you guys all know about that place. If you don’t know, you can google it or youtube it—I cannot youtube that here though, because it is also censored by the Party. Tiananmen is at the center of the city and is also the entrance to the Forbidden City.
In the Square, there is the Monument and the Memorial Hall for Chairman Mao. I quote the pamphlet, “Chairman Mao Memorial Hall is the most important memorial hall of the Party and the state. The greatest Chinese leader of the 20th century, Mao Zedong, is laid to rest in this magnificent edifice…” So, supposedly dead Mao’s actual body is laid in the Hall. No camera and bag are allowed to enter this building, and there is a long line of people wishing to the dead body. You can buy flowers in front of the Hall and give to Mao showing your respect for him.
[The Monument and in front little children are guarding the Monument]
[This is the Memorial Hall for Chairman Mao, and the long line of visitors]
[Little Maos]
To be honest, I was pretty excited to see him. I mean, it’s Mao’s actual body! It’s like you can see G. Washington’s actual body. As I was waiting in the line, strange feelings arose in my heart. I don’t know how to describe it. It was a little creepy to see the dead body, I guess. But it wasn’t only that, something else bothered me. I guess I was bothered by the fact that one person’s mere dead body attracts so many people. Will I be like Mao? What will happen after I die? Such a foolish question occupied my head.
I haven’t talked about his actual appearance. You can see him only for few seconds; actually you just pass by him. My other friends said that it really looks like a fake; in other words, it just looks like a wax. I agree so. However, that doesn’t really matter. What matters what Chinese people think of that dead body. If they believe that’s real, it’s real. Mao’s influence in China is not as big as it was, however I think he still represents this country and will continue to shape the future of the nation. After all, he is the founder of red China.
[Me and Mao; Excited to take a picture with Mao, I proudly closed my eyes]
The Forbidden City was the imperial palace of Ming and Qing dynasty. It is the huge palace—you cannot imagine how big it is until you see it. I’ve been to that place when I was 14 yrs old. Then I was shocked how big it is comparing to the royal palace in Korea. I was mad, and am still mad at the fact that this country is so huge. It is unfair. This nation has a natural capacity to become a super state. Nonetheless, there are always naturally small people and naturally big people; I guess nations are just like that. As a naturally small person, there is something that you inherently cannot do, but in many areas small people can be better than bigger ones. Each person has different roles in the society.
China is a big country and is rapidly developing. So many new buildings are being built in the city, construction is in everywhere. There are lots of gigantic and marvelous new buildings which make you realize how big this country is; for example, you can look at the Olympic stadiums. I don’t have pictures of them now, but I will upload them later. No kidding, I think if China wants, it can build another Great Wall today.
It’s been almost two weeks in China. During the first few days, I complained a lot about everything in China—I still do. I always compared China with the States or Korea and complained about it. But I realized that is not a good thing to do. I try not to do it now. I used to do that when I first went to the States too. I compared everything in the States to that of Korea and got mad at everything that is different from its counterpart in Korea. For example, I got really mad that getting internet service in the U.S. is so slow and difficult. In Korea, it’s really easy, you just need to call them and they come and install everything for you. In the States, you have to go through installation by yourself and call the company thousand times. But I slowly got used to the differences. I guess I am going to do the same thing here.
It’s been two weeks and I think it is a good time to talk about my objectives in China. Actually, before talking about that, I will talk about the objectives I had when I first went to the States. As I told you guys earlier, I did not want to leave my country and live in America. I didn’t have any choice, so I have to live there. When I first came to the States, I knew that I would live there at least several years. Although I didn’t want to live there, I wanted to utilize my opportunity that most of my friends did not have. I couldn’t deny that studying in America was a fine opportunity.
I set two goals for myself. The first goal was to learn the language and the country. I wanted to learn English and experience the larger world. The second goal was to remember my own country. I was afraid that I would forget my own country. Looking back last four years, I think I did pretty good job of achieving these two goals. I know that I still need to improve English though.
What should I achieve in China? I guess the first goal is also to learn Chinese and this country. I think that is the easiest and also the hardest thing to achieve. The second goal is however different from which I had four years ago. The second goal is to learn myself and discover my own future. After one year in China, I need to encounter my 4th, the last year in college. I am not sure about what I am going to with my future.
Many different thoughts are floating around. What should I do after I graduate? I want to work for Korean government; that sounds simple, but it is not that simple thing. There are thousands and thousands of different governmental departments. Do I want to work for a nameless department in government and become a nameless official? I want to take the diplomat test and become a diplomat of Korea. That test is really hard, how should I prepare for it?If I want to work in Korea, I need to do military service. In order to make two years of military service beneficial to my career, I want to be an interpreter officer in which I also need to take a test to be an interpreter officer. So many tests and so many paths! Do I want to live an extraordinary life? Can I? So many questions and so many doubts!
I want to discover my future while I stay here for a year. I want to define my inner self. I might be too busy with learning Chinese and acculturating to Chinese life, but I will try my best achieving my second objective in this yearlong journey.
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