Jay K.
Ep.20 I don’t know “giving up” (2)
The Admissions Committee would like to know more about you in your own words. Please submit a brief essay, either autobiographical or creative, which you feel best describes you:
I cannot forget the day when I first came to the U.S. in February of 2004. It was the year when the biggest change in my life unsettled me. I practically lived in Korea my whole life. I was forced to leave my friends and all that I loved. It was even more difficult because I lost my dearest one, my mom. Adapting to a new country right after the painful event was horrible and depressing to me. To make me more miserable, I needed to prepare for college. How could I go to college in the U.S., if I could not speak English at all? However, time would not wait for me and I was determined to overcome my difficulties for my mom and myself.
Eventually I earned straight “A’s” in my junior year which was also my first year in the U.S. Every “A” on my report card was important to me, but I especially kept my eyes on my English class. I proved to others and myself that I was capable of succeeding in a regular English class.
When I tried to take the regular English class, every one discouraged me from it. The teachers of the regular English and ESL classes thought that I was not ready for taking it and they wanted me to take the lower level English class. However, I knew that if I took the lower level English class, there would be no way for me to go straight into a four-year college. I wanted to give my best effort to take the regular English class, even if it meant failing it. At least then I would not have any doubts about whether or not I could have succeeded in a regular English class. When I received the “D” on my first quarter report card, the English teacher said, “I think you are going the wrong way.” I was depressed when I heard it, but I was determined to show that I was not going the wrong way.
[I went on a day trip to Tianjin, the city near Beijing]
[in front of Tianjin University, with friends]
…I failed many vocabulary tests and I felt like a disabled person, but one thing that helped me endure this was that I could think. I could think as any other American student and try harder to succeed in my English class. There was no reason to feel inferior, since I tried harder than any of my classmates. I could accomplish many things in very short time.
When I came to here, I had to start over from the very beginning to learn English, even though I earned good grades in my English class in Korea. The English I learned in Korea usually emphasized on grammar and reading, but I quickly realized that it was not enough to survive in school in America. Speaking was especially difficult for me because I am generally a shy and quiet person. With something as simple as asking the teacher a question, I struggled with this. When I asked a question to my teachers, they did not understand me because I could not pronounce “question” well. I always had to repeat myself. I needed to ask questions in order to learn and so I practiced pronouncing the word “question” in the shower. As I overcame this simple difficulty, I could improve my English skill and succeeded in classes.
Now, I can say that my junior year was successful, but I still need to make constant efforts to learn English. To study in college will be another challenge for me. I know that my English skills are limited compared to other students, but I am sure that I can handle it well as long as I remember the lessons I have learned from overcoming my challenges and as long as I can think and give my best effort.
[the famous dumpling restaurant in Tianjin, "Goubuli"]
The above paragraphs are from my college application essay (they are actual copies). I don’t know it was for which school. The following essay is for the UC system:
Is there anything you would like us to know about you or your academic record that you have not had the opportunity to describe elsewhere in this application?
Right after my mother passed way, I came to American to live with my aunt and uncle because there was no one who could take care of me in Korea. I had to leave my school along with my friends. I came to this country unprepared unlike most foreign students who have planned from the very beginning to come to America to study. Adjusting to my new surrounding was full of challenges. I was full of sorrow and blamed my situation on the unexpected tragedy…
Even in the midst of my tragedy, I was able to realize that this was another opportunity in my life, but this was not without its challenges. I tried hard in school despite my emotions and family problems…
It was easy to say that I needed to learn English, but it was difficult for me to go beyond my comfort zone and use English everyday with the fears that others may ridicule me. The only way I knew how to overcome these challenges was to find the strength to continue on and move forward. I realized that I needed to try and stand fast to my resolution of not giving up in order to overcome many difficulties. The challenges that I have faced these past two years in America have allowed me to grow and mature in ways that would not have been possible otherwise. Like a boatman who paddles intently when he is met with high waves, I have been able to spur myself on toward success because of my difficulties.
I can say that last two years have been the hardest times in my life as well as the most important. Through the struggles I have faced, I learned the important lesson of determination and perseverance, which I believe will help me overcome the challenge I will face in college. These things cannot be seen on my transcript but it is apparent in my life. Over the past two years, I did not only learn English and American culture, but also the thing that is very essential to life: facing challenges build strength.
The above two essays are talking about very similar things with slightly different focuses. At that time, my tutor helped me to write them. He helped me mostly with grammars and sometime helped me on structures too. My English writing skill at that time wasn’t very good; and still isn’t very good. However, these essays are stories of me with my own words.
I know that I could get into Berkeley only because of my essays. My SAT score was 200 points below than what was minimally required by the school. My high school GPA was 3.8, which was decent, but wasn’t outstanding.
The essays are basically saying that my life sucks but despite of it I try hard and I can do it. I look back now and I think I actually tried hard then. I feel like today I don’t have the same level of determination and whatever you call that made me to do well in school and face the challenges.
I want to talk more about that English class which is mentioned in both of my essays. So, the first year in the States, I had to choose which English class I would take in my junior year. One was a regular English class and the other one was basically for students who don’t want to study hard. The lower level English class was also for American students, but most of these students were not planning to go to a four-year college. That was why I didn’t want to take that class.
My ESL teacher and everyone else discouraged to take the regular English class and told me to take the other one, but I chose to take the regular one. As it was expected, the regular English course was hard for me and I got Ds on my first in-class essay and vocab quiz.
After the first quarter of the semester, the English teacher told me to stay after class. After class, she told me that “I think you are going the wrong way.” She wanted me to drop the class and just take the lower level one. It was really depressing as well as humiliating to listen.
When I was listening to her, in my mind, I thought “I don’t want to give up here. I want to keep trying” I wanted to tell to my teacher. However, at the moment, I forgot how to say “give up” in English. So I couldn’t say anything but just listened to her. After talking to her, I walked to home. It usually took 40mins to get home. I had to walk because I didn’t have a license and I didn’t have any friend who would give me a ride at that time. Imagine walking 40 minutes after hearing that humiliating comments from the teacher.
As I was walking, I remembered how to say “to give up” in English, but it was too late. I couldn’t go back and tell her that. Anyway, as I was walking home, I told myself, “yeah I don’t know giving up, that’s why I forgot how to say “giving up” in English. There is no word “giving up” in my mind. I don’t know giving up, let’s keep trying and trying.”
It was one of the saddest moments during my first year in the States, but also the most hopeful moment.
As my essay for college application describes it, I finally got an A from that English class. For the first quarter of the first semester, I got a D. For the second quarter, I got a C and a B- for the third and B for the 4th quarter of the first semester. I received an A at the end of the year. That was my junior year, in senior year I got A’s throughout the year and got an A+ for the final grade from the English class. I still remember the first book we read in that English class. It was Crucible and I don’t know how many times I read that book by myself to catch up with others.
In the end, the teacher, who told me I was on the wrong way, apologized to me. She told me that she was one that who was wrong. She also wrote a letter of recommendation for my college application. I still thank her for making me to try harder. Thank her for humiliating me and making me to challenge.
Again, I’m not telling you these stories to glorify myself or to show off. I just want to remind myself how hard I tried before and how I am not doing that now. I want to remind myself how hard I need to try here in order to get something out of this one year program. I think it is the time to forget “giving up” in my mind again.
I want to stop here today, and I will continue the story of me in China in the next episode.
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