Opportunity cost

The Story of You, Part 2.

Jay K.

Ep.17 Opportunity cost

I cannot believe I already wrote 16 entries. If I write at this pace, I will write almost 100 entries by the end of the program (I don’t know that’s a good thing or not). Quick catch up; I am very busy these days, taking a way over 20 units (semester units). I think I am busier than when I was in Berkeley. I am also still adjusting to new environment, it takes time.

Also, something important happened to me this week. However, I cannot tell you guys what it is. Do you remember when I first started this essay I told you guys that I won’t be honest sometimes? I cannot be honest about this because it involves some confidential stuff. Then, you might ask why even I write about it on here if I don’t want to talk about it. I still write about it because this event is still important to me and to my life in Beijing.

[At the Chinese/Russian Students Art Exhibition, which I went to take pictures for KSA]

Opportunity cost is a very well known concept in economics. I remember when I first learned the concept of opportunity cost in 7th (or might be 8th) grade in Korea. Since then, whenever I learn economics (whether it’s Econ2 at UCB or Chinese econ at PKU) I first encounter that concept. Opportunity cost actually has many implications, but one simple implication is this: you need to give up other things to get something that you want. Simple enough; there is no free lunch.

Why do I talk about this? It’s because I am giving up something for something else. I am giving up Xian trip. Xian is one of the most historical cities in China. My program organized this trip and this is my last chance to travel with my fellow EAP friends. I really, again really, wanted to go this trip. It will be lots of fun, but I am giving this up. It was a tough decision for me. What do I get instead of that trip? I get a chance to join Korean Students Association at PKU. I know that it sounds stupid. I joined KSA and we need to participate in International Culture Festival, which is on the same day as the Xian trip (10/25).

I will take pictures for KSA as a photographer and participate in the festival. It sounds fun too, but Xian sounds far more interesting. Nonetheless, I have reasons for giving up the trip. Xian trip is only for one weekend whereas KSA is for a whole year. I’ve been to many cities in China already (although Xian is a little special). I can travel there by myself in winter if I really want to. I really want to hang out with my EAP friends too but one weekend can’t be that big of deal for our friendship (hopefully not). So, I decided to join KSA and I joined. No regret (maybe a little bit).



[It was very interesting to watch Russian students' performances)

However, giving up Xian trip is not only opportunity cost that I need to pay for joining KSA. Joining KSA implies a lot of other things. First, it means that I will be busy with KSA stuff meaning that I will have less time learning Chinese. More importantly, I will hang out more with Korean people that I will less hang out with local Chinese people.

When I first went to the States, I didn’t have this problem. I lived in Agoura Hills, a white suburb. More than 80% of students were whites in my high school. There were only four Korean FOBs in my school and one dropped out in my senior year. I had only one good Korean friend whom I could speak Korean. That was why I could learn English faster than others. It’s not really that I wanted to hang out with only Americans, but it just happened to be in that way.

In college, I could’ve hung out more with Koreans, but I didn’t. I have only few good Korean friends in Berkeley (here I’m talking about Korean Koreans, not Korean Americans), but most of my friends are Asian Americans or just Americans. I guess I was just used to hang out with you guys. To be honest, I had tried few times to meet more Koreans in Berkeley, but it wasn’t easy. I didn’t like any Korean clubs there. Since I was PoliSci major, it was hard to meet any FOBs in my major classes. So, I don’t have many Korean friends in Berkeley. Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoy hanging out with you guys (Americans)—I do. It’s just that I needed something more.

After all, I am a Korean (well, you guys all know that). I lived in Korea so many years, not just many years, but many important years. However, I never experienced “Korean college life”. I always wanted to have that. I never hung out with more than two Koreans at one time. It might seem strange to you guys. You might don’t understand it: I wanted to be more Korean.

I always think myself as Korean. There is no identity or nationality confusion, or question for me. There is no doubt that I am Korean. Most of you guys will think me as Korean as possible—yes, I am a FOB. But, to many Koreans who live in Korea, I am not Korean enough. There is no doubt that I will return to Korea after college and live there, but sometimes I am afraid that I won’t fit into the society. I am afraid that I will be too American in Korean society. I fear that. As the day of my graduation comes closer, this fear grows bigger and bigger. I started to question myself: can I really live in Korea? I never asked such question when I was in high school. Never imagined such thing; that’s why I fear about this more.

This is my reason why I am joining KSA. This third year of college will be very important for the rest of my life. I am preparing my return to Korea. I was thinking about studying abroad a semester in China and another semester in Korea just for this reason. I couldn’t do that because PKU only offers a year program and I need to graduate too. I still want to know what I will encounter when I go back.

But, still one might ask me why I’m doing it here in China where I need to learn Chinese and Chinese society. I think that’s a very good question; I asked myself too. It is first because here are many Koreans in China and I got a chance to meet them. I don’t want to deliberately avoid Koreans in order to learn Chinese. I accidentally met many Koreans and want to hang out with them; it’s that simple. And, I will try my best to learn Chinese and make Chinese friends. I will do both. I am slowly meeting local Chinese friends and also through my Korean friends, I’m meeting some Chinese friends too. I am trying to minimize my opportunity cost.

This episode was too serious that I don’t know you guys enjoyed reading it. I actually wanted to have this talk. I don’t know whether I will regret my decision later. I hope not.

Ps. in the next episode, I will write about my life at PKU.

more pictures at http://www.flickr.com/photos/iamadreamer/

Trying to be trilingual

The Story of You, Part 2.

Jay K.



[why are you keep taking picture of me? i'm mad]

Ep.16 Trying to be trilingual

So I am back. The last two episodes were honestly too long, so I will try to keep this one short. The school started three weeks ago, and this week we have National Day break (5 days break). October 1st 1949, the current People’s Republic of China was established. This holiday is one of the two biggest holidays in China (the other one is Lunar New Year). The break is usually a week long. Many Chinese people go back to their hometowns or travel during this break. Since I just got back from a long trip, I don’t feel like leaving Beijing so finally, I found time to write this essay!


[Chinese characters, there are so many of'em]

Many people will be curious what classes I’m taking here, so let me tell you guys: Chinese. I am taking two main Chinese courses—one is writing/reading and the other one is speaking. I am also taking two Chinese electives. I am taking Chinese writing and news paper reading classes. I am also taking Chinese Economy that is taught in English (yay!). Also, I’m auditing two political science courses. I honestly understand only 5% of what the professor says in class. I am taking these classes in order to take my major courses next semester for credits.

Last Friday, I had this 8am polisci class that I’m auditing. It was painful to wake up for the class but I did and went to class. And, I found out that there was no class on that day because the professor went on business trip. The professor told students the week before and only student who showed up were people who missed the last class. That just shows how bad my Chinese is. That’s just sad. My Chinese improved a lot a lot since I got here, but still not enough.



Many people (mostly Chinese people) ask me why I learn Chinese. I sometimes wonder why too. There are many reasons I think. I originally wanted to go study in China when I was in Korea. I also wanted to learn other language. I think Chinese is the pretty language (and I don’t think French is the most beautiful langue of the world). I started to like Chinese after I watched Zhang Ziyi’s House of Flying Daggers. She is so hot, and when she speaks Chinese it’s really pretty. Of course, Zhang Ziyi’s not the only reason why I learn Chinese.

When I came to the States, I took an ESL class and there were two Taiwanese kids in my class. We became really good friends and took a summer school together. We also did carpool that summer. They usually talked to each other in Chinese and of course I didn’t understand anything. Now I think that that made me want to study Chinese. It was curiosity and feeling of helplessness in communicating with people (which also made me to study English hard).

“Trying to be trilingual” implies that I claim myself as bilingual. I guess I can say that. I don’t claim that I am fluent in English but nowadays I feel comfortable using English (unless I’m interviewing in English). I still don’t know many vocabularies, but at least I can ask people what they mean and understand their explanations. For the most times, I don’t have problem in listening (unless they have heavy British/Indian/or any other accents). I want to achieve that point with my Chinese. That’s why I am here; leaving all my friends back home and living in a whole new world. I don’t know whether I can achieve it or not, at this point it’s not that promising. One year later, would I be comfortable using Chinese? Probably not.



My ultimate goal is to be able to speak five languages: Korean, English, Chinese, Japanese, and Russian. These are the languages used in six party talks. I also want to learn Spanish, French and Arab. Why learning languages? One thing I like about learning languages is that I can use it instantly. I learn some new words and new grammar structures and I can just use them in daily conversations. I can have a conversation with someone from a different country. That’s very fascinating. I love to study political science, but I can’t use them in real life (not yet). I can read some news and understand it better with knowledge I learned from PS157 but that’s about it. I even don’t want to talk about how useful Physics and Mathematics are. (They are useful in some ways).

Few days before, my tutor told me about “passive” and “active” words in learning foreign language. When you learn a new language, there are so many new words (obviously). There are words that you only know what they mean, but you don’t use on regular basis—regular basis I mean when you write or speak. These are called “passive” words. The “active” words are the words you naturally use on regular basis. Learning a new language is basically a process of changing “passive” words to “active” words. There are still so many English words that are on my “passive” words list.




I am trying hard to be trilingual. I am taking 6 classes in Chinese, it’s way over 20 units. However, I feel it’s still not enough. It’s very frustrating, but I try not to be. I know it takes time. I already experienced it once. It takes time.

Lately I am meeting a lot of Koreans. There are so many Koreans here. A half of my class is Korean and the other half is Japanese (there are some Europeans and Americans). I joined a Korean club too. I don’t know… I am preparing my return to Korea after college. I will talk more about it in the next episode, because I want to keep this one short as I promised earlier.