Jay K.
Ep.35 Dear Cindy pt.2
[Welcome to the PKU's night!]
Dear Cindy
Hey there. I am writing this letter in this café in Beijing. This café is very westernized; so many westerners come here, drink coffee, chat or study here. I also love to come here, but it’s just too expensive. One meal at the school cafeteria is about 5~10 RMB, but a cup of coffee costs more than 20 RMB here. It’s almost American price. I actually miss many good cafes in Berkeley. I love to write in café. It is such a good atmosphere to write.
You might think, “Oh Jay, you wrote that super long letter, and you still have more to say?” Yes, I do. I hope you don’t get sick of reading my letter. I hope it entertains you and helps you.
I want to tell you more about “recognizing challenges and facing them”. I am not clear about what you meant by “recognizing” challenges, but I will tell you my story anyway. Since I’ve moved to the States, I love to challenge myself and push myself out of my comfort zone. Taking challenges: That’s how I got into Berkeley and could improve my English faster than others. That’s also why I am here. I know it’s a good thing. It really gives you more opportunities and makes you better. That’s what I learned from challenging myself for last four years.
[Going home after playing basketball]
Of course, taking challenges also brings many failures and disappointments. I experienced many bitter failures and they made me to challenge more and push myself further. Many people ask how I can take regular Chinese polisci classes in Chinese. They think my Chinese is really good, but actually I am not that good. I am just challenging myself again, because I know if I do this, my Chinese will get better in the end.
I regretted a lot this winter break: “why did I decide to come to China?” I could have so much fun in Berkeley. Why did I come here for a whole year? I asked myself that a lot and the answer was simple: to be better.
Actually, I don’t know. Sometimes I’m tired of me challenging myself. I just want to stay back in my comfort zone and never come out. I will tell you a story. I started a diet last semester and I lost almost 22 pounds. You know how much I love eating. But during that diet, I ate a piece of cucumber for whole day and didn’t eat anything else. I did that for 2,3 days and ate a little and repeated it again for 2,3 days. Of course, I also went to the gym almost every day. I called it the “to be or not to be” diet for myself. I was a bit disgusted at myself, being able to push myself that further.
[The dormitory]
It was just because of “proud”. I can do this. I cannot forgive myself giving up. I should keep challenging myself. Trying what you think you can’t do is a good thing, but doing what you can’t do and you don’t want to do is not a good thing. I don’t know what I am doing is right. Sometimes I want to step back, but at the same time, I think it is still not enough. I am still on that diet but because my ankle is hurting, I stopped going to the gym for last few days. I actually feel anxious now.
Maybe it isn’t really related to what you meant by “facing challenges”, but I just want to share my thoughts.
Lastly, I want to tell you my life in China. I am doing fine here and you know you can check my blog for more stories. Adapting to a new culture is something that I am good at. I really didn’t like China when I first came, and I really hated living here. I slowly started to like here and now I got used to many things here, but I don’t see myself living here more than 1 or 2 years. Some people really love China. They really enjoy being here and want to live here forever. I don’t like it that much. No.
[My Awesome Bike]
I think you also can do it. You also did a study abroad in France! I don’t know what kind of stereotypes you have on Chinese people. I am pretty sure stereotypes you have actually exist and are mostly true. The stereotypes I had before coming are all found to be true. People spit on the streets. There is no order or anything of that sort. People are really influenced (or brainwashed) by the government. Many of freedoms that you believe to be basic are restricted. However, what I also found out was that my understanding of China and its people was very minimal and limited before I was coming to China.
That was actually true about the States too. I didn’t know much about the States before I was coming to the States. Meeting so many different people, I realized that not all Americans are arrogant and support Iraq War (actually I didn’t believe it in the first place anyway). Anyhow, what I want to say here is that there are so many different types of people that your stereotype does not apply to the whole body of the people. If I go back to the States, people will ask me about China and its people. I know I will try to generalize them, but it will be hard.
I don’t know whether you are thinking about coming to China or not in future. If you are, I will say you should come and try. I am sure you can get some interesting jobs here. It’s just a suggestion; you might not like here.
[The West Gate]
I think it is all I have to say for now. You are welcome to write back or not. Oh, I just want to know if you are graduating this semester because I want to send you a graduation gift but it won’t be any good if you decided to take one more semester or something. The same applies to Kathy and Tranee but I will ask them later.
It’s interesting that your new roommate is from HK. I already have some stereotypes in my mind about HK people. I visited there once and met some HK people here. I want to visit Tyler, but it’s too far south. I hope he visits Beijing one day. And I am really jealous you guys went to Disneyland together. It’s ok. I went to Disney’s Ice City in Haerbin during the winter break. I wish I can hang out with you guys when I get back. Please update me with your life when you get a chance.
PS. Sorry again for this ridiculously long letter
Best,
Jay K.
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