Defining C-H-I-N-A

The Story of You, Part 2.

Jay K.


I need to tell you two things before I start. First, unfortunately, previous two episodes didn't make it to this blog, because they are too personal. One is a letter to someone and the other one is about that letter's recipient. I decided not to upload. You might wonder why I show some letters on this blog and others not. I really cannot tell you why, sorry.

Second, it is another bad new for you guys. This episode is the second to the last episode, so I try to upload some memorable picture from the past year. They are endless, so it will take a lot of time to load on your webpage, I apologize for that. The pictures are counter-choronologically ordered, so the most recent picture is the first one. To make it conveinent for you guys, this time I am not going to mix the writing and pictures. Aright, enjoy reading!


Ep.46 Defining C-H-I-N-A

Once I go back to the States, everyone without a single exception will ask me this question: “How was China?” Then I will hesitate to answer first, and will try to recall all the memories of the past year and try to answer the question with some insightful and descriptive words. Although it seems so simple to answer, it indeed isn’t. It won’t be easy defining this huge country with over 13 billion people, various friends I met here, and a year long experience in few words.

I don’t want to describe China in the same way as how other people describe it. I want to tell people about my China, not someone else’s China. In this episode, I will try to prepare myself for the question by looking back the past year.

I guess I have to start with China and its economic development that everyone talk about. It’s absolutely true that China is rapidly developing and has developed a lot since 1970s. However, I don’t like people exaggerating Chinese economy. I think people often get confused “developing” with “developed”. “Developing” country means it hasn’t developed yet and it is still poor. There are some marvelous buildings and shopping malls in Beijing that that almost make me to believe that China is becoming a rich country, but if you just walk out of that shopping mall, you soon realize that you are mistaken.

China is not a rich country, only small fraction of it is. Yes, today’s Chinese middle class is much better off than how they were 30 years ago, however this so called “middle class” is also only tiny fraction of 13 billion Chinese people. Some people might not agree with me, but I am still doubtful that China is today’s economic super power. I visited almost every major metropolitan in China. Even those super developed Chinese cities cannot be compared to that of developed nations in many aspects such as road pavements, public transportation system, cleanness, and etc. I won’t even bother to mention how underdeveloped other small cities are in China.

However, whenever I go to supermarkets that are similar to Safeway or go out eat at nice restaurants, I feel that economic development is truly a blessing for all Chinese and it should continue. Considering living conditions of Chinese people decades ago, although it is only fraction of whole, due to the economic development, lots of Chinese people enjoy higher standard of living. I hope it continues so that more and more Chinese people can enjoy it as well. I guess it is a very capitalistic and American ways of thinking, but let’s forget about the enormous gap between the rich and the poor, let the Chinese middle class grow.

I think it is enough of me talking about Chinese economy. Let’s move on to the next topic—politics. Don’t worry; I am not trying to give you guys a lecture of Chinese political system or anything. I will just say my views on Chinese political system from my own experience.

When I found out that my first blog (Wordpress) was blocked in China, I was really surprised that censorship is really prevalent in China. Now my second blog (Blogspot) is also blocked and Youtube has been blocked for almost 6 months. I also wrote articles for this booklet that my Korean student association publishes every year, and I wrote this one article about “Chinese Democracy”, the new album by Guns n Roses. However, just because it had the word “Chinese Democracy” in it, we couldn’t publish the booklet. We had to take out the article in the end.
It was interesting to live in a country where the political system is completely different. You wouldn’t think that it would be that apparent, but as you see my trivial experience with internet, you see that you can actually feel it in daily life (maybe because I am always conscious about those things).

Whenever I talk about this topic, I always bring up the story of my Chinese friend who majors in Polisci. He always asks me interesting questions. On June 4th, the 20th anniversary of Tiananmen Square incident, he called me and asked me to send him some articles about the protest happening in HK from foreign mass media because he doesn’t have access to them. He once asked me, “was there really a tank when it happened? Is it really true?” He heard about the notorious Tiananmen massacre but was never sure about it because of accumulated education and propagandas he has received. His question really surprised me and I was disappointed at myself unable to provide more detailed facts in answer. I wished I could tell him more, but I couldn’t because I didn’t know well about the incident enough.

It is actually amazing that he questions. I thought that because he had received so many years of education under the Party, he would just accept what the Party says. However, it is human nature that we question and we ask. It was curiosity that led Adam and Eve to bite the forbidden fruit. Thus, I firmly believe that the Party and its rule cannot last forever because people won’t stop questioning its government. Many Chinese people including my friend all know that there is something wrong with the current political system in China, but they just accept that fact and do not think about fixing it. That’s my final obtainment from the year long experience and contemplation on Chinese political system. I cannot blame them because myself cannot think of a solution too.

I am also a bit disappointed at myself because over the year I found myself always looking at things with westernized point of view. I was always critical of whatever I see, rather than being understanding and tolerant. I am really regretful about it.

Let’s ask the question form a different angle then: did I enjoy living in China? Yes, I did. I was a bit disappointed when I first arrived here because it was a lot different from what I expected. I do complain a lot, but never regret coming here. Because sometimes things were completely out of my common sense, it had frustrated me a lot. I really cannot see myself living in China for the rest of my life; however, I definitely want to visit China again as a tourist. The best part of living in China was actually travelling.

I already told you guys this before that I cannot generalize “China”. It’s not the same as you say the banana is yellow. China is a vast country with billions of different people. Yes, you can say some general features about them but you cannot say “China is this” or “Chinese people are like this”. That’s just stupid.

What would I miss the most about China? That would be cheap and delicious food here. I will also miss the people just how I told you guys I would miss the people from Berkeley when I was leaving a year ago. I will miss the casualness of daily life in Beijing. I will miss hanging out with so many Korean people and having Korean foods regularly. I might also miss myself being so special just because I can speak English (that will never happen once I go back to Berkeley). I will also miss the feeling of being in a different culture.

To be honest, I am still not ready to answer the question. I know if someone asks me, “how was China?” I will answer “it was great”, but don’t know how I should answer further than that. I might tell you guys all the stories I wrote in this essay, or I will tell you some of them, or I might not tell you any of them. It doesn’t matter what I tell you guys or how I tell you guys, I believe my one year experience in China already has changed me in so many ways that you guys would see the differences and that might answer to the question: “How was China?”.


below are pictures with captions and dates.
I tried to pick pictures that I didn't show before but the most pictures are already showed in this blog.


[6/18 My journal from the summer and winter trip. I tried to record money I spent that day and my feelings on the book. This is one of the last pictures that I took in China]




[5/30 It was a beautiful day in Beijing. I just walked to Wudaokou Station with my camera. This is the place I always hung out with friends]

[5/30 the same day, I went to Weiming Lake and this is my current background picture for my computer. lovely pic]

[5/3 It was at the Temple of Heaven. My two closest Korean friend from the language school. They are roommates]

[4/30 My Chinese class went on a field trip to the city near Beijing. We visited the kindergarten and he was the cutest]

[4/30 the same day with my classamtes from the Chinese class and a puppy]

[4/27 one of my few Chinese friends who majors in Polisci. He is the one I always mentioned in my blog, at the lake]

[4/27 the same day, I was working all day taking pictures that will be the cover for the booklet published Korean Student Association. I was pretty tired that day, btw this picture didn't make it to the cover]

[4/5 I went to Datong with my tutor!]

[One of the most amazing place I have ever been in China, Datong]

[3/31 it is from the EAP spring trip to Jingdezhen. I love the candid expression from Junia, the girl in front]

[3/30 from the same trip, we climbed to the misty mountain! unforgettable beauty]

[3/29 will miss you guys]

[3/28 it was before we left for Jingdezhen. Another casual picture for EAP that I love]

[3/22 I climbed the Tiger Head Mt. with my tutor on the random weekend]

[3/22 This is my tutor, you can see my hair was still permed at that time. haha]

[2/16 It was snowing that day, and as soon as I woke up and found out it was snowing, I ran out with my camera to take pictures. I promised to myself that I would take picture at this famous West Gate, but I never did]

[1/14 Now it is pictures from my winter trip. This is the famous Yalu River]

[1/14 If I cross this small stream, I can enter North Korea!]

[1/13 In Shenyang, I was so happy to find Mao! Yay]

[1/12 at the boarder city, Tumen. I was sitting there and looking over the land of North Korea]

[1/12 cannot cross this bridge, the boarder is clearly demarcated by white snow]

[1/12 love this hat]

[1/10 In Haerbin, gorgeous and freezing at the same time!]

[1/10 the Church of St. Sophia]

[1/10 cannot forget the coldest place on the earth, Bingdengjie!]

[the most unforgettable meal for my entire winter trip: hotpot!! with friends]

[1/1 with my Chinese teacher for the fall semester and Japanese classmate. It was the first day of 2009 and our last meeting!]

[12/31/08 on the last day of the year, I was just passing by and saw this glowing tower]

[12/19 It was at the farewell dinner for the fall EAP friends, and took a picture with my old roommate]

[12/13 at the frozen lake, randomly went out and took pictures of random graduates]

[11/29 It was from my 2nd trip to Tianjin, the city near Beijing. At the random street market]

[11/29 I went with my tutor again. haha we went to lots of places together!]

[11/21 at my friend's place, and my friend with my shoes... don't know what to say. but it was one of the memorable moment over the past year]

[11/21 at the same place, same day, my another friend. she was really nice]

[11/20 the classmates from my Chinese class in Fall. I don't remember why I brought my camera to the class on that day]

[11/15 from my 1st trip to Tianjin, the tower]

[11/15 on the same day, with friends. miss you guys too]

[10/27 from the International Culture Festival at PKU. my coworkers from the KSA, it was taken everything was over...I was so tired!!]

[10/27 cute couple displaying the traditional Korean wedding. I got to know the girl later through my polisci class]

[10/27 on the same day, with hot thai ladies. ... don't know why I am so happy in the pic]

[10/26 from the Xian trip...which I went on my 21st Bday!!]

[10/24 on my 21st bday, on the train heading Xian, we were playing card games]

[10/24 my birthday dinner at Korean BBQ place. She is really into cooking that meat... haha]

[10/24 My birthday morning, I had a class (polisci) in the morning. It was an 8AM class... That guy sitting in front of the black board is my professor]