The story of you

The Story of You, Part 2.

Jay K.

The Last.

Ep.47 The story of you

Saturday, June 27, 2009, I am writing this last episode of my essay, The Story of You Part Two in Korea while watching TV. I once thought I would write 100 episodes over the year, but failed. I also promised to write at least fifty, but again failed. I can, if I really want, but I know when to stop and this is the time.

Know when to finish, but actually don’t know how to. Where should I start?



[I picked the memorable pictures taken during the year and put them here in a counter-chornological order. The most recent picture in the front and the oldest one in the last. Please enjoy my last entry on this blog: the picture of my backpack for the 21 days-long summer trip]

[In Guangzhou, with five goats]

[Delcious breakfast in Guangzhou, uhmmmmmm]

[looking down HK at the Peak]

[The symphony of buildings, the most memorable 30 mins of my entrie summer trip]

[Gloomy HK]

I should start with a quick catch up before I begin the epic closing for my essay. After writing the previous episode in Hangzhou, I got really sick. I fainted as I was checking out of the hostel in Hangzhou. It was deadly. I thought I got H1N1 or something. I really feel regretful that I didn’t get chance to say goodbyes to my friends in Beijing because I was really ill. It sounds stupid but I really thought I would die there or I would never be able to come back to Korea. However, I made it and I am back in Korea where I started the journey a year ago.

Tomorrow marks the one year anniversary of my trip to China. A year before, I took off from Korea and landed in Capital Airport of Beijing, China. I know that it already has been a year because both of my Flickr account and McAfee one year account are expired.

I decided to end this writing before I hit fifty and before I get back to the States, because I feel there is no more substance to write about. Everything doesn’t seem fresh to me anymore. When I first arrived at Beijing a year ago, everything was new to me. Everything, I mean, if I just walked out of my dorm, it was a whole new world and fantasia. I love that feeling. I love the feeling that I am where I’ve never been in my life and become a perfect stranger. Over the year, that feeling of excitement and freshness gradually had become the feeling of dullness and familiarity. When it happens, I naturally lose interests. Actually it is same with meeting people. I love to meet new people but I soon lose interests as I become close with them (doesn’t mean I stop meeting them or anything). I lost interest and have nothing to write, so I decided to stop writing.

[The road to freedom in Xiamen]

[I lost my flopflop at Xiamen. That's one left]

[Smiling Buddha]

[Impressive Hangzhou West Lake that made me to visit the same place a year later]

[The Lake at night]

[Jinling, the friend whom I met at the Shanghai youth hostel]

[What are you looking at, boy?]

[the Chinese breakfast]

[Yangzi River Bridge built by the glorious communists]

[I still can't believe I climbed there on the most humid day in the history of Nanjing]

I am not in China anymore, so there is no point of me keep writing this blog. However, I will continue to write something. That can be a short story, fiction, or essay like this one. I cannot guarantee that I will share it with you guys because it can be super personal and private. Nothing is decided for the moment and that is always the case I guess. Something has to hit me and make me to write.

I cannot wait till I get back to the States. There are so many people I want to see right now. I am also a bit afraid but shouldn’t be. I am afraid because I have so many things to do in one year. I am facing my last year in the States. That’s so overwhelming. That’s even tougher than living in China for a year. I believe studying abroad in China was only a preparation for what was coming up. I really want to have a wonderful last year in Berkeley, and in the States, but don’t know how to. I’m confused. I really need a time to think about it. That might be the topic of the next writing.

Ending this journal, I want to comment few words on my writing. I love writing and believe myself is somewhat talented at this. However, writing in English wasn’t always easy for me. I always had a trouble expressing my feelings with more appropriate words and with more adequate expressions. I was always unsatisfied with the fact that I couldn’t articulate my words more fluently and expressively. However, I am satisfied with overall contents and writings of this essay, and there are few episodes that I particularly like.

[The club in Nanjing]

[After swimming at the beach in Qingdao]



[One of my best pictures taken during the year]

[Joe, my future roomate, and Pedro randomly visited China during the Olympics]

[My summer tutor and tutor mate and me]



[At the archery match, Koreans]

[We won the gold medal!! I almost cried as I was singing the national anthem for Korea]

[Korea!!]

[The boxing match]

One year experience of studying abroad gives a different meaning to everyone. After one year, someone realized the importance of home. Other found the place where she wants to live for the rest of her life. Still others got different meanings from the same experience. June 28th of last year, one hundred and twenty students from the States including me landed in China expecting something novel and fresh. One year passed and everyone headed home; but a group of new explorers have arrived. Will they see the same China and go through the same route that we went through? My guess is no.

When I first started this, I told you guys: “I am writing stories because I regret” (quoting from the first episode of the essay). Do I stop writing this because my regrets are all gone? Yes, most of the regrets I once had are gone, yet I still do regret about things. Reading the past entries of this essay, what I realize is that regrets also come and go. In the end, regrets are generated not because of the past, but because of the present. Since I am unhappy with the past now, I regret. It means as my mind changes, my view on the past also changes and regrets naturally fade away. So, the greatest truth of universe I found is that if I enjoy the present, I won’t regret about the past. People think they regret because they did something wrong in the past. That might be true, but we know that we can’t change the past. What we can do is to live the present.

[The grassland of Inner-Mongolia]

[The fireworks and party in the grassland]

[Amazingly beautiful]



[So peaceful Mongolian yurt]

[The buddhist monk enjoying Pepsi and ipod]

[The best picture taken at the desert]

[At the 798, young Chinese artist]

[This picture just makes me sad. My only daughter, OCK]

[The library at Beijing Normal University]



[the GREAT wall]

[The people who made me start to like China. Thank you guys]

[Stars over Red China]



[The temple we visited on the way to the Great Wall, but don't remember the name]

[Another my favorite picture from the year]



[you guys are having fun, huh?]

[Bye, Mao, your China's over. New China's coming]

[Rainy Mao]

[The magic show we watched at the Tea House]



[Old Beijinger in old Beijing with Waiguorens]

[Me with my summer roommate]

I want to end this epic journey that once seemed never ending by telling you another short anecdote. I was on the plane heading Korea. I was really sick that time and didn’t feel well. I was sitting on the aisle side and one Korean lady was sitting on the window side. I had to fill out paper works, so borrowed a pen from the lady, which initiated our conversation. She told me she went to China to visit her sister and where she works now and stuff like that. We ended up exchanging our facebook names and she is now my facebook friend. I might see her again while I am staying here in Korea. That is random, isn’t it? I was almost dying and still met someone on the plane and made a new friend! This may seems trivial and insignificant. However, through this and my experience in China, I learned that life is full of unexpected confrontations. China was worse than what I expected but I also never expected I would meet so many awesome people there and have a wonderful year. I didn’t expect that I would get sick on the day before I leave China so that I wouldn’t get a chance to enjoy my last days there. I didn’t expect my one year long journey would end like that. However, that’s not a real end. Another story just has begun as I was stepping on to the plane for Korea. Although my story in China ends, I will still meet unexpected happenings and thus the story of you will continue.

Lately I am reading this book by one of the most famous and respected Buddhist monk in Korea, titled “一期一会” (Yi Qi Yi Hui). It is an old Buddhist idiom, meaning “this moment is the only moment in life and this encounter is the sole destined meeting in life”. This simple but prudent saying might have different meanings, but I think it fits pretty well for my closing. All the moments I had had in China won’t happen again, and all the persons I had encountered in China were meaningful to me. I cherish all the moments and all the encounters.

[My room during the picture, I took this picture as I arrived at my room on the first day in China. My roommate was out at the moment. Looking at this scene, I didn't know what was coming at the time]

[The first meal in China. Fried Rice. Didn't know how to order, I just pointed the picture]

This is it. This is truly the end. Thank you guys for reading my flawed writings! I sincerely appreciate the feedbacks you guys gave to me and just daily interaction with me, that really inspired me to write this much. I already told you guys that this isn’t the story of myself living in China. It was and is the story of you and it will be. Even my story ends here, yours won’t.

The Story of You, Part 2

Fin